Bearing in mind the centre of Otley was in gridlock due no doubt to the influx of morris dancers and folk musicians....

 The Masham Black Sheep Chapter roll into the car park as the attendant swoops in for the kill

 "It's OK Pop", the lead biker re-assures, "We come in peace and on a mission of mercy"

 The Big Push Up - http://www.justgiving.co.uk/bigpushup

 "It's OK son, stay close. I think we can get past this fella without too much problem" whispers a locally based Pirate fan whose local knowledge has got him to the ground before the majority.

 Further afield Leeds/Bradford air traffic control have refused landing permission to the Pirates jet leaving the Captain little option but to fly low over the ground and get the team to parachute in

 A hastily arranged landing zone is organised

 While the Otley team sportingly give up their pre match pie and beer to assist with the stragglers. Up in the air the jet flies over to check it's main cargo has been safely delivered, before heading back over Leeds to carpet bomb the A6120 Ring Road

 Outwardly not perturbed, inwardly the experience has got to Sam who has been forced to look for loo roll alternatives in his rush to the facilities. His eye though is caught by a heavenly vision

 ...as the Pirates standby 10-12 replacements strut in nonchantly all Boys Back in Town-ish

 Inside the ground the folk band strike up

 which the team then put the mockers on with their embarrasing attempt to provide dance backing too.

 Having rampaged through the town centre, the Press Gangs advance party march in on foot lead by Capn Alan

 Ms Lyon signals for her Battle Mop closely attended by her personal security

 Captured locals pressed into temporary slavery haul the SS First into dock before being allowed to sniff freedom once again

 MMMMmmmnnnn green sludge with pork pie relishes Swanjet whose digestive system has had years of training for such delights. (Note to self - mustn't allow culinary prejudice to cloud output)

 The new Radio Cornwall commentary partnership take their places and it is clear who has won the Pecking Order stakes. Steve has no intention of taking prisoners.

 Then, while no-one was looking the action began as Brooce grabs Swanjet's plate of mushy peas and makes a bee-line for the far touch. Rhodes heroically stops his escape, as a horrified Tom and Ed move in to recover the foodstuff; hopefully intact.

 Ice meanwhile gets on with the real purpose of the day and opens his Pirate Try Account at a canter

 Ben wonders if there is an extra ELV no-one has told him about

 With tippy-toes still on Otley's 22 line, Mike Burak stretches out and dots down his first Pirate try too, regardless of cries from the balcony by Statler & Waldorf of double movement.

 Things turn nasty as Rhys unleashes his left peg into Smith's Tackle Bag as Kitching rushes forward to catch his launched comrade. Brett hopes no-one has noticed him sneak onto the pitch in a bid to pick up where he left off on Monday night

 Rob takes the plaudits having successfully planted McComish under his own posts. Cause for celebration which...
 ...sparks an impromptu Press Gang Two-Step on the terraces.

 Footage is compared before forwarding to You Tube

 Horrified of Sheffield contemplates sending photographic eveidence to the Bradford Telegraph & Argus

 Not wishing to be left out of the fun, 3 'volunteers' are sent to limber up to prepare for the Dance Off

 Corporal Sir then goes and spoils the fun by signalling Uber Sirs attention about the festivities and to get everyone focussed on the real purpose for everyones attendance..some rugby match or other...but not the high tackle on Cookie who was almost delivered at his feet like a cat presenting it's owner with a dead mouse

 Havili then catches everyone napping emerging from the shadows with what is commonly known as a ball

 Full time approaches and both packs look at the agenda for post match discussions. Dan falls foul of the committee as he breaches the sensitive subject as to who is to blame for the current world financial crisis.

 Paves looks put out after Fullmans rejection of his offer to buy his Cadbury shares at a perfectly reasonable £1.70 each.. Foolish move Kristyan as experience tells us what is likely to go down later.

 Post match and Mark begins by sending Brooce over to the Naughty Step and the threat of stopping his in flight peanut ration

 Swampy and Para plead clemency but Mark is adamant, "No nuts for Brooce". Onlookers turn in horror at the injustice.

 In the kitchens however, concerns of a different nature grip Kitching and his sprog as they frantically try to recover the contents of the latters so called water tight nappy.

Outside the consequences of this catering nightmare begin to take shape when firstly Ice

 and then Bertand

 succumb to the stew's unplanned for ingredients. Up against the wall, the two Welsh Chuckle Brothers, whilst trying to keep out of shot, express shock at goings on around the corner..

 Iva sits propped up against the wall for support sporting a cracking bruise under the eye and visibly shaken.

 as Paves stomps off muttering something about "Short selling" as a hack from the Financial Times approaches him for an exclusive.

To lighten proceedings and mentioning no names. Name this blond prop who was seen sporting some rather dodgy leg-ware no doubt to combat any threat of DVT on the flight back to NQ

 Unless of course he was headed to the Walkabout for a night out. ;o)

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